problem

Nowadays, I am a little bit nervous. Maybe because of the stress from the lack of chance to talk as much as I want.

As you know, when I am talking in Japanese, I talk more or less emotionally. Especially when I am excited in talking, I use tons of words and motion. I also use rhetorical things including metaphor, emphasis, and sarcasm.

But in English, I cannot do that. I can have very usual simple conversation with my friends. I can communicate with them having that kind of "Tasteless conversation". That is not enough for me!
uh,,I am frustrated...every time I speak with friends, I can say less than 30% of what I want to say.
I have said this many times, but I want to say this again, that daily conversation is quite more difficult than usual class language skills including discussion or listening lectures. Maybe it is the level non-native speaker cannot achieve in short terms.

Now I feel (I don't know what the real thing is, but anyway), non-native speaker cannot talk with native speaker with the same competence or the same amount of expression, even if they take tons of time like ten years or more....

Now I have learned English for about 8 years. I can read, listen, write, and speak English well in a certain level. But every time I feel what I speak in English is not exactly what I want to say, that is "different" something. What is this feeling? Maybe I have grown up in using Japanese more than 20 years. That makes all my cognitive parts in my body fitted into Japanese. Every cognitive perception is Japanese on me.

Of course I know we cannot make learning language as fluent as our mother-tongue.
But this is so frustrating. Only one month or so is ok. There was no problem. That is because we just got to know each other, and introduced ourselves. We meet new people every day. At first I know we are different people, so just communicating was enough. But one month later, I come to need more high level conversation. If I were a very silent person, no problem would not happen. But in Japanese, I am very talkative.(I should say, I found I am talkative in Japanese since I came here.) To be talkative in English in usual conversation is hard....far away....

To solve this problem, what should I do?

Anyway, THERE WAS NO GOOD MEMORY IN HALLOWEEN.